Listening

I recently received a newsletter from coworkers that had this blurb in it:
"A community development worker in India was tasked to build toilets (outhouses) in a rural village, but the people didn’t really want toilets. Rather than pass up the opportunity, they let him build the toilets, but after he left they filled the holes with cement and used the shacks to store firewood!  For them, that was more important...I think it was shared as a reminder to be flexible and to listen to people when they express their own needs."

During the last couple of months on the banquet tour, I was really encouraged by some excellent listeners. It's not that people who don't have active listening skills weren't listening - it's just, from the speaker's standpoint, that I couldn't tell if they were or weren't listening! How do professional public speakers do this week in and week out?! As I attempted to make eye contact with each and every person in a banquet (and sometimes twice, if the group was small enough), you start to get a feel for people who are, what I would, call "good listeners" and the rest of the crowd. I'm talking about that rare 5% of the group who actually smile, or shake their heads, or nod their heads, or lean forward, or in some type of body language show that they are actually engaged with what is being said. It's not that others who weren't doing this weren't listening - many of them cam up afterwards with questions or comments that indicated that clearly they were! But when you speak day in and day out, I can not over-thank active listeners who reminded me that I was not only talking to back and side walls and floors :). 

What I've been thinking about is what we mean when we call people good "communicators". Unfortunately, what it seems to me that most people mean by that is good "speakers". People who can deliver a message well, with clarity and remain engaging. To me, though, communication is a complex process that involves both speaking/signing AND listening AND understanding the context in which both are happening constantly. I wish that when people talked about good "communicators" they would focus as much on those people who are good at listening (and not just hearing) and those who are good at giving out information in coherent ways. It seems to me that, at least in the context I live, listening is an under-appreciated skill. And it seems to me, that when we talk about good "communicators", both in listening, speaking, and understanding context...good communicators are really a very rare commodity.

I've yet to see a college course given on "public listening" or grades given on listening in a "public speaking" class!
I've yet to hear a sermon series given on "listening" as compared to "sharing...x".
I've yet to see someone applauded or given a prize for "listening well" as compared to "speaking well".

And yet...
"But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves." (James 1:22 NASB)
"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry..." (James 1:19 NIV)
And...Samuel learning to listen to God's voice. And sheep who listen to God's voice. And how do we rightly "hear" the Word of Truth. And Jesus does nothing without listening to His Father. And...and...

So how are we at listening? In the story in India, perhaps the humanitarian aid workers didn't ask the right questions. Or perhaps they didn't listen well - not just to the words, but to the body language that accompanied them. Or maybe they didn't understand the cultural context that they needed to be able to understand what they were hearing and apply it.

In our line of work, listening is equally, if not more, important than speaking. We want to know what questions to ask and listen with our ears, our eyes, and our hearts to what deaf people around the world really want and need. Then we want to be able to share that information with others effectively so that more and more people and groups get involved. We hope that when we share that information, that there are those out there that are aspiring to the same thing as us: to be good communicators and to not just ask the right questions, or hear the information they want, but to truly listen to the context, the information, and become doers of truth and sharers of hope in a world that needs good communicators. Communicators like God, who both listens to our prayers and answers with his Truth.